Ice Burns Read online

  “Don’t get too comfortable,” she told Frostwhite as she stood and brushed away the crumbs in her lap. “I’m not going to be comfortable sleeping with you in the room. You’re going to have to find a different roost for the night.”

  No sooner had she finished the sentence than the bird was up and flying out the window. Chandra stared after it with her mouth open. He had flown away as though he understood her. Chandra's brain froze as she grasped for conclusions.

  Movement. Of course. I startled him when I stood.

  She had risen from the table, and the movement had startled the bird away. That’s all that had happened. It wasn't as though a bird could understand what a human said. Even the hawkers had used sounds and gestures to make their birds understand them.

  She crossed the room and tried to reach the window casement to close it before half climbing on the windowsill and swinging at it. The window closed most of the way, but she couldn't reach the latch. She decided that it would have to do.

  If Frostwhite comes back to kill me in my sleep, at least I won't have to deal with Master's disappointment again.

  Chandra doused the lantern and turned to her bed.

  And if I'm still here tomorrow, I will read every book Andre will bring me until I can figure out some way to tap my powers, whatever they may be and however limited.

  No more distractions.

  Chandra pulled the blanket over herself and tried to get comfortable around the stress and anxiety that squeezed her to the bone. She heard the night sounds again and attempted to focus on nature's music as a lullaby to put her to sleep. No matter what she did, though, it was hard for her to ignore the lingering feeling of regret that the bird was gone.

  The next morning dawned hazy and dark. A bruised storm of purple and blue was moving quickly across the desert. Jagged slashes of lightning tore across the sky, but no rain fell over the dunes that reflected the sky's rage back at it. It was as if a seam were being ripped open to show a glimpse of stark, bright world behind the curtain. The air was alive with the excitement of the storms.

  Chandra's hair reflected the sky's levity by sticking out at every angle possible. She closed the awning and wedged the chair against her wardrobe so she could almost climb fully on the ledge to shut the casement. She even managed to latch it with the tips of her fingers after several attempts.

  "Who built this place? Giants? A race of tall angry people who wanted to make sure no one would ever be comfortable in their home once they left?"

  Chandra was flushed and panting from the efforts when she climbed down. Her mirror reflected a madwoman with wild hair, glowing green eyes in contrast to the rough purple of her cheeks and her mouth open as it tried to fill her lungs.

  "Apparently, I don’t get enough exercise, or this mirror is intent on only showing me the worst views of myself," she muttered as she fought her hair back into a braid, barely winning the fight.

  Chandra stood at the closed window for a moment before opening the awning a tiny bit. She watched in awe as black clouds flew across the sky as if being pursued by demons. The wind scraped at the star curtains and across the barely-open awning as though demanding entrance suitable for such an elemental force. It called in a whistled sound that was steadily growing louder as it entered regardless of the narrow opening. The elements tugged at her auburn hair like it was critiquing her braiding abilities. She moved away but did not close the awning. Even with the electricity in the air, the cool, moist breeze felt good in the still room.

  Chandra went to the basin to wash and dress for the day. As she rubbed down with tepid water, Chandra entertained the notion of staying in her bedclothes. It wasn't as though she would be allowed to leave her room. In the end, she decided that if she wanted Andre to bring her books, she probably would need to be fully dressed for the encounter. Besides, once the storm kicked up fully, it would likely bring in a chill when it clashed with the Northern winds. Storms always blew in warm from the desert, hit the forests and went damp before a northerly wind would collide with it, kick everything up to a wild gale and make the outside dreary with damp and chill. The cold wetness always managed to find its way into the rooms of the estate.

  It would be louder by the time night fell again. The storms seemed to carry bits of rock and sand from the dunes and used it to chip away at the walls and windows, seeking entry. Sometimes it sounded like the estate was under siege with the way rocks, sand, and bits of forest rubbish were flung gleefully at the estate. It had scared Chandra when she was young, but as she got older, she imagined that it was a fairy queen using the elements toe try to free her from the estate.

  After Chandra had dressed, she made a face and picked up the remains of the fish off of the floor. If she were still in Master's rooms, one of the maids would have already begun cleaning, and the water in the basin would have been fresh and warm. Chandra placed the shriveled remains of her meal on the plate and thought about her evening visitor.

  When she had woken up, Chandra had half expected to find the bird at the foot of her bed, ready to give her a heart attack. When Frostwhite was absent, she began to assume that she had dreamt the encounter. She looked at the dinner plate and knew it had happened.

  I hope Frostwhite is okay in the storms.

  She eyed the window and wondered if she should open the casement to allow for the bird to enter or wondered if she would be able to sneak out to the courtyard to look for him. The thought made her feel foolish. She, who almost never left the estate and then only when escorted, was worried about a creature who had spent its life up to that point surviving on its own.

  Yep, I would be such a huge help to a wild creature who had spent more time outside than I probably ever will.

  She laughed softly and knocked on the door so the guard would unlock it. When the guard opened it, she was greeted with a hateful look from a young man no older than she was.

  Had Chandra not been intent on her goals, she might have considered the guard attractive. Well, that and the pure hate in his gaze.

  She handed off the tray of dried out food, ignoring the glare. Chandra dropped all humor from her face and lifted her chin so she could look down at him.

  "Summon Andre and instruct him to bring me more books from Master's library and tell the kitchen staff that I am still waiting for my breakfast." Chandra narrowed her eyes at his glare and waited for him to nod before turning on her heel and slamming the door behind her. She acted as though it was her choice to be behind the door instead of at the whim of Master Dreys.

  Though she knew he would summon someone to pick up and take the tray away, she was sure he resented having to do so. With the door closed, Chandra allowed a tight, petty smile that only lasted a moment when she heard the click of the lock on the other side. It was rude and not much of a victory, but she would take what she could get.

  The rain began to crash against the window in the tap-tap that sounded more like rocks than water. Chandra suddenly wished she had a way to block the rain from her window so she could let more air in and open the casement. She shifted the chair back to the table and straightened the interior of the room the best she could with so few furnishings and belongings. After moving her brush and mirror for the third time on the wardrobe beside the lantern, there was a sound at the door.

  The guard and a kitchen girl entered. As if it were an agreed upon action, both slapped the items they carried down on the table; the girl slopped mush over the sides of the bowl, and the guard cracked a binding on one of the books. She saw him wince at the sound at least and knew that Andre or Master would reward him for his pettiness if the book took any real damage. Both turned and left without looking at her.

  She scooped up a tiny piece of shriveled sausage and nibbled at it, but it was too burnt to chew. Chandra put it back down again and eyed the mush, wondering if they had gone out to the stables to get her breakfast from the same fare the horses got. She drank water from the cup and picked up a book.

  "I would kill for a cup o
f tea, or the coffee Master has in the morning," she mumbled as she looked at the tray again.

  She groaned a little when she remembered the smell of mint tea or the dark, almost burnt smell of the roast coffee beans. It was a strange smelling brew, but so heavenly and welcoming. Master always let her have a cup of either one when they did morning lessons, but that wasn't likely to happen anytime soon.

  "And in the meantime, I'll probably starve to death or be poisoned," she muttered around the water cup. To be fair, the mush was usually okay and filling if bland. The cook at the estate did pretty well with daily items like mush or oats or bread but always managed to dry out any meat they had.

  Again her mind turned to that of the bird. She thought of Frostwhite's unusual coloring and strange mannerisms, and a new thought occurred to her: What if it was a tamed bird away from its normal realm? What if the reason it had been so willing to come in was that it was a trained bird?

  Chandra moved her chair back to brace against the wardrobe by the window and climbed to prop open the casement. She used a length of hair tie from the closet cabinet to tie the latch and closure to keep the window from flying open and breaking. Thankfully, most of the rain seemed to be angling away from her tiny window section and coming from a mostly western track. With the wind coming from the north, the water was mostly coming down the southeastern corner of this part of the building. Only bits of mist from wind-broken rain came through her window.

  As she looked out into the chaos, instinct told her if Frostwhite was tame, he would probably seek shelter. She was determined to give him the option but wasn't sure if she should call the bird or wait. Chandra climbed down but left the chair near the window in case the winds changed and sent her a downpour. She looked at the open window and wondered if she had gone crazy at some point from loneliness or desperation.

  Chandra stepped away from the window and paced. She ate some of the mush while watching the window, tried picking up one of the books to read and put it back down and went back to pacing. If there had something more than burnt sausage and mush, some of the meal could have been put in the window to show Frostwhite that he was welcome.

  Chandra continued to pace, picking up random items and putting them down a moment later as she went. She got out soiled garments meant to go to the laundress and mopped up the moisture that began to accrue on the floor under the window and the seat of the chair. A knock at the door distracted her, and she rushed over to meet the kitchen girl as she entered, thrusting the tray at her.

  “Thank you,” Chandra said in a rush as she turned the girl back out the door. The girl curtsied and smiled crookedly at her before rushing off. Chandra pushed the door closed and heard the lock immediately click. When she turned back to the room, she almost screamed.

  5

  Frostwhite was standing in the middle of the table, looking at her with its head cocked to one side. His broad, white wings tucked in neatly, and his head was cocked so that he mostly looked at her with his right eye. The tips of his wings almost brushed the table with their silver sheen, and Chandra cringed at the thought that they would gather dust from that surface.

  "Hello," she whispered. It felt odd to speak to a wild creature but too silent when she didn't. She didn't know if it was some part of trying to connect to this beautiful creature or an attempt to remain sane during this likely-illicit actions on her part.

  Frostwhite continued to watch her as she moved and then stopped at the side of the table. Chandra wondered if he would mind her closing the windows against the rain or if he would take that as some form of captivity. She didn't want to risk losing her guest, so she decided it would be best to stay where she was.

  "I would have saved you some breakfast, but most of it would have been inedible to you," she told him. She imagined even Frostwhite would have an issue biting through the sausage.

  A laugh escaped her, no more than a chuckle, but it bubbled up from somewhere deep inside her. It was as though a spillway had breached on the dam that held in her emotions. It trickled out for only a moment, but the feel and sound left a smile on her face. The way Frostwhite was looking at her with his head cocked to one side was almost human-like. Chandra wondered if there wasn't some part of him that understood or at least recognized human speech.

  "Yet another joke you would have needed more information to get," she shrugged at him, still smiling. "I doubt the food here is anything like what you would want. I know for certain that raw is one side that the cook never leans toward on meat. She only does chewy burnt and inedible burnt."

  Frostwhite bobbed his head for a moment at her, and she continued to stare. Everything he did in reaction to her was so ... normal. It wasn't as though she was talking to a bird at all but more like she was conversing with someone who didn't speak out loud. A mute or someone with a similar handicap would have less reaction than Frostwhite offered her.

  Frostwhite hopped forward for a moment, and Chandra fought the urge to run from the imposing hawk. When he got within a foot of her, he lowered his head and turned slightly. With his right wing, Frostwhite reached spread his wing and very lightly brushed Chandra's arm. She could feel the bone under where his limb connected with her and the silky soft layers of feathers that protected it. Then, he lowered his wing, hopped back across the table and launched himself up to the window where he paused to maneuver through the limited opening and dove out into the rainy world beyond.

  Chandra ran her fingers across her arm where he had brushed her with his wing as she stared at the spot where she had last seen him. She knew that his action had been mindful even while her logical brain argued that it wasn't possible, and she imagined things. She closed her mouth and looked down at her arm, feeling the ghost touch of his feathers there across her skin and the fine hairs of her forearm.

  He had patted her in reassurance and then gone. Chandra knew he would return as much as if he had spoken the words out loud.

  *******************************

  Lunch was bread and cheese with no lull in the storm outside the room or inside Chandra's mind. She continued to worry about Frostwhite but had been forced to close the window a few times when the wind changed, and the water came in as though directed. Crumbs and crusts of bread littered the work table. It was as if Chandra had been walking around the table and leaving a trail to keep from getting lost on her way back to the chair. She was reading the history book with half focus and taking easily three times as long to get through a passage as normal.

  Chandra picked up the remaining heel of bread and gnawed on it like one of the hunting hounds did with the used soup bones the cook gave them occasionally. It was one of the best things the cook ever made, even if the cheese was more rind than edible.

  On an average day, she would have long abandoned the books left for her to wander the estate or listen in on one of the many classes in the estate. Master had stopped having her attend classes several years ago. At the time she had assumed Master Dreys had done so because Chandra was ready to move into a more in-depth study required to be the apprentice. His general annoyance at her presence when she was in his study did not foster that belief.

  When Chandra finished the last entry in the book, she tossed it on the floor and heaved a sigh. The book had been interesting, but useless in what she needed to do. There were entries about ceremonies but not how.

  Chandra rubbed her palms roughly across her face and eyes. She stood again and stretched, though she hadn't sat for very long. There must be a key to calling her power, something that had been missing, but the problem lay in finding out what it was. If only she could borrow some of Master's books from his private library, she was certain she could find something of use. She paced and tried to decide the best way to get Andre to let her have books that she was otherwise not allowed. She didn't know any of the names to bluff her way through the request, so she would have to go into Master's study for herself. She thought hard about what excuses she could use and realized that no lie would get her where she ne
eded to be.

  Well then I guess I will have to play the bratty apprentice card, won't I?

  Chandra nodded to herself. There was no other way to get Andre to do what she wanted short of demanding it. With her mirror, Chandra worked on making the same face Master made whenever someone displeased him. She lifted the edge of her mouth and pursed her lips, drawing them into a think pink line. Chandra looked at her reflection and narrowed her green eyes before lifting her chin. She wanted to look both irritated and bored as the Master often did. It was pretty good; she had to admit. Usually, she had to be with Master and demand something to get it, but this time, she needed to be a bit more of a ...

  Snob? Brat? Horrible, rude child?

  Chandra shrugged and put down the mirror. It was what everyone thought of her no matter what she did. The mask she had worn and the desired isolation had worked. Time to play upon their opinions and make it work for her. She took a deep breath, tugged at the hem of her shirt and brushed her hands down the rough linen trousers before walking to the door. She knocked three times, quickly and waited with her arms crossed.

  The guard opened the door, and Andre was in a nearby chair reading a book.

  "Did you not think to bring me more books, Andre?" Chandra said to the older man. Her voice came out sharp, and the commanding tone had him sitting upright stiffly, his face slack and eyes wide.

  It took him a moment to remember that she was the hated apprentice and not someone who was normally able to order him around. His eyes shifted from surprised blue to narrowed steel.

  "Well then, I guess I'll have to get them myself if you won't do your job," Chandra sneered at Andre and the guard, thrusting the books at the manservant as she stepped past both men into the hall.